Not Alone!

I can’t do this alone anymore. For reasons too lengthy to list here, I have been alone most of my life. It would be a good story of how your ‘average’ good guy slips through the cracks at every turn; and manages to never (yet) find himself, or another.

“On the shelf. It’s on the shelf above the sink.” Otis is trying to tell me where the key is to the basement freezer. He joined our work crew last month; and we became friends after just a few days. We spent about an hour at his gym tonight; and he invited me to his place for dinner.

“Got it. I’ll be right there.” This is the first time he has invited me to his house for dinner, or for anything for that matter. Stupid company rules frown on worker friendships. He asked anyway. I said yes.

“So what’s for dinner, big guy?” I call him that because it’s obvious. Otis is of Scottish descent; and at 6’2″, 220lbs., he towers over me by about 5 inches. Okay, maybe not towers, but I do feel a wee bit shorter at my 5’9″. His build is muscular. My build is…not. Okay. Maybe you’d call me ‘athletic’. Maybe you wouldn’t call me at all.

“Fresh salmon steaks, Dillon. Just gonna get some sides to go with it. A good strong fish for my good strong friend!” I am blushing.

“Yeah, right.” My smile and sarcasm hardly hides how I feel about his comment. In his presence I feel safe, alert, and very turned on. I am gay. Duh!

“You are stronger than you know, Dill. I see behind the curtain.” My eyes fill with tears. I have never felt strong, or competent, or a real part of anything. The cap on my emotions and needs is screwed on so tight that at this point in my life, I can not seem to loosen the weighty cover.

“Otis.” His arms are now full of stuff for dinner.

“Yeah?” I follow him back up the stairs to his kitchen. His bulbous butt is just inches from my face. My mind imagines him going up the steps naked, his cheeks bouncing with each upward step. His broad back blocks my view ahead of him.

His thighs are thick and strong. My dick is screaming for release. I hardly jerk off anymore, maybe once a week at most. There doesn’t seem to be any point to it. I grew tired of imagining myself with a lover long ago. Those thoughts became a mocking of my sad reality. Then Otis came into my life.

“Why are we friends? I mean, I really like you, O, I do. Too much, maybe. That usually is the first sign of impending rejection for me.” At the top of the stairs, his arms still laden with foodstuffs, he turns to look down at me, two steps below the landing.

“Because you’re short, cute and funny. Look how much taller I am!” He bursts out laughing. It’s not a mocking laugh. His smile and eyes reveal the answer I was hoping for. I just shake my head.

“Duffous. Can I help with dinner?” We have made it to the kitchen counter. A few bags of food have rolled to the floor. I instinctively bend down to pick them up; and as I stand, food in hand, Otis and I are now face to face. Inches apart. Eyeball to eyeball. About as close as we can get without… I pull away, place the food back on the counter, and move to the other side of the kitchen island.

“Get back here.” It is a gentle command, spoken softly, with a tone that melts my heart. My legs also melt, and I hold the counter’s edge for support as I sidle back to Otis. My gaze is downward. It mirrors my self worth.

“Dillon. Look at me. Please.” His big baritone voice is very soothing to my ears. My voice, also baritone, tends to rise up in pitch, betraying my gender specific interests and leanings. But Otis is all man. For me to think otherwise almanbahis is both foolish and delusional. I do as he asks. My ‘lost puppy’ countenance elicits a broad smile to his handsome face. Before I know it, I am in his bear-hug embrace, unable to flinch and back away as is my habit.

Part 2 –

He and I are in an inescapably intimate male-on-male embrace; that is filling me with a desire to let go and go with it…and a terror of the unknown. Without much confidence in myself, how can someone else be confident in me? No matter. Right now I just want to snuggle into his chest. My arms leave my side and wrap around him. His body feels densely muscular against my arms. I find myself holding tighter. To my surprise and shame, my tears start to flow and I let out a muffled whimper.

“That’s it. Let it go. I get you, Dillon. I know.” He sounds so wise. How can he know? “I know how lonely you are. I have walked in your shoes. My own outcast path used to burden me as it has you. There is no hiding that from me.” My God. Someone knows!

“I asked why we are fiends. I may have my answer now. You see in me the person you say you were, and there is sympathy.” We are still holding each other close.

“Not just sympathy, Dill. I know how to long for someone to understand me and be ‘real’ with my emotions and needs. I know the pain you carry. I know that the pain is real; and that you can overcome it like I did. But more than that, I am attracted to the little hottie that you are! You have no clue to how I feel about you, right?” I would not let myself fall into that trap again – my imagination running wild. He is correct. I have no clue.

“What do you mean?” I hold my breath.

“I am not ‘out’ to anyone, as you are. You’ve found some of the bravery that has eluded me. But I am guessing that you’ve been wondering about me, right?” I am shocked and pull away just enough to face him.

“No! I swear. I mean I have had a few fantasies that I quickly shot down.”

“Why?” He looks a bit hurt.

“Because anyone I have ever wanted either could not stand to watch me drown within myself after a while, or I pulled away before that could happen. I had no idea you were gay, Otis. Far from it. I have just felt honored and happy to be your friend.”

“Can I kiss you, Dill?” His tentative smile is open mouthed and oh so inviting. As my eyes close, and the distance between us evaporates, my lips meet his full on. He presses to me in a tender yet earnest embrace; and I feel myself start to faint. I grab something nearby. The pot of hot water tips and I am immersed in scalding liquids!

“DILLON!” He is moving like the Flash. Strong hands grip my shirt and rip it from my body. I stand in a panic, unable to move. He has bent down to quickly pull the drenched gym pants down to the floor, and I fairly jump away from the puddle. His speed has prevented damage to my skin, which is barely wet at all. He lunges to me, and I am once again in his bear hug embrace. I find myself shaking in his arms. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Sit at the counter.”

Seated, I watch in awe as this tower of a man moves like a dancer as he throws dish towels onto the wet floor, turns off the gas stove, and takes a seat next to me. “Thanks, O. I am so sorry about that.” He cuts off any more speech from me with a continuation of our previous kiss; and this time I feel him move within me as a lover does. His tongue and mine slide languidly together. Then his lips touch mine in a quick kiss. He locks eyes with me. I nod. We stand.

Part 3 –

Otis takes my hand in his almanbahis giriş and we walk down the short hallway to his bedroom. My bed is a twin – no need for a bigger one, right? His bed is a king, or bigger. Sure, he is a big man; but I can tell that more than one person has slept with him over the years. Call it instinct.

“I’m not your first, right, O?” He shakes his head.

“The others were just hookups, Dill. And it’s been years. You?” My turn to shake my head.

“What? Never?” And shake my head yet again. He is looking into me and my soul opens to him. Standing before him naked, he gives a slight smile as his hands begin to undress his own body. I watch him reveal his broad shoulders to me. His hairy chest, full and firm fills my gaze completely. The slight stoop needed to remove his pants brings those large arms into full view. I place my hands onto his shoulders, and as he rights himself, I am lifted off of the floor. His lips press to mine. We move as one to the foot of his bed.

“You’re not put off by my inexperience?” He shakes his head at me.

“It just tells me that this will be as special for you as it will be for me. Sit on the bed, Dillon.” I do as I am told. For the first time in my life, I trust somebody. I know that Otis will not hurt me, ever. “Good. You look relaxed. Leave your legs on the floor and lay back onto the sheets. I do as I am told.

“Uhhh.” Otis has his mouth on my cockhead. His tongue is swirling around it like it is a lollipop to him. I have never felt anything like this before. Already quite hard just from seeing him undress, this is making me grow to full length in his warm mouth. I prop up onto my elbows to get a better look at the action. He feels me move, and looks up at me.

“Like it?” I nod.

“Let me go down on you, Otis. Please.” I need to take him into me. I need to give myself to him. I need to feel him take me. He gets onto his bed and props up on his elbows next to me. His penis, also bigger than mine, is at full mast in a slight upward angle towards his chest. I roll on top of Otis, and he hugs me as we kiss. Our crotches are pressing together and the feeling is amazing. I begin my way down his body with licks and all of the kisses I have stored away for this very moment.

“That feels good.” He has no idea what is really in store for him. I have a wealth of imaginative moves, learned from videos, to try out on my new lover. Maybe not as good as personal experience, but we’ll see. When I get down to his crotch, I pause to take in the beauty of his natural pubic bush. Pit and bush hair always get me going. I start to rub my nose into his thick hairs, and as I breathe deeply of his musk, he lets out a low groan of pleasure. “Oh, yeah.”

Gently cupping his good sized nuts, my fingers move to slowly rub at his taint; and my mouth is about to take in its first hard cock. I believe I can deep-throat a cock because of the techniques I have learned from online gay guys. “Going down, Otis!”

“Oh, Fuck!” It worked. As I opened my throat to his length, that eight inch monster slipped easily down my pipe. I can even breathe! Holding him there as my tongue presses into his shaft, I start to move my head up and down, slowly, letting his dick slide a bit inside of me. His cockhead bumps the back of my throat with each slide, and I know how good he feels! “Fuck. Fuck.”

“Yes, please.” I have released his member from my throat and mouth, having tasted sweet precum along the way. We are both ready for the next step. He looks a bit puzzled.

“What?”

“You said; ‘Fuck. Fuck’.” almanbahis yeni giriş He still looks puzzled. “That’s my answer. Yes, please. Yes, please fuck me.” I can see the lightbulb go on in the air over his head.

“You bet!” Once again, the ‘Flash’ moves quickly and he has lube and condom ready to go.

“No, Otis.” My hurt puppy is confused.

“No condom. You and I are safe, right?” He nods.

“I got tested last year and have not fucked since then.”

“And you know that I am a virgin, so we are good?” He smiles and nods. “I want to feel you connect with me on every level possible, O. Take me now and make me yours. Breed my body and show me how a stud takes his lover.”

“Talk to me, Dill. Let me know if anything hurts. Okay?” I nod, but will not let pain stop me from becoming his tonight. Besides. I have done some ass play over the years, and enjoyed it very much. His dick is a lot longer and thicker than my fingers, though, and I really don’t know what to expect. Here goes!

“Just push it in, O.” He has hesitated because his size is preventing an easy entrance into my ass ring. I watch as he locks eyes with mine and takes a very firm plunge forward, ripping into my hole and sinking all the way in with this one full-on thrust. He looks terrified. “Good.” I try and catch my breath and not show him any discomfort. “Good.”

“Sorry, I got carried away. I’m sorry.” I want to reassure him.

“Really, I’m good. Just stay still for a while so I can adjust, that’s all.” And adjust I am. In a minute, I feel my channel relax, and mold to the shape of Otis’s cock. His fullness within me is heavenly! I smile and signal him to continue.

“Slow thrusts for my little catch. You were ready to be caught, weren’t you, Dill?” I nod as some tears roll down my cheeks. For I have a lover within me tonight. No hookup this.

“Worth waiting for you. I’ve always had a thing for hunky bears.”

“I’m bigger than you, but hardly a bear, Dill!” He looks pleased, nonetheless.

“Okay. Just hunky then.” We both start to laugh. “Don’t hold back. O. Pound me good. I want to feel you take what you want.”

“What I want is to please you.” Spoken like a truly loving top.

“Then get to it and let me watch my bear….my hunk….release his inhibitions and go to town on my body for the good of us both. You hear me?”

“Yes, Sir! Loud and clear, Sir!” Laughter fills the bedroom. Otis fills my hole. Just one more thing I want from him, and I want it right now.

“Then fuck me good, O.” I reach up as he hovers over me, his fullness clenched within my body. I play with his shoulders and chest. He bends to me after a flurry of rapid thrusting and I know that he is close. My legs grip his back and lock into place. No thoughts enter my mind in this moment other than a burning need to feel Otis orgasm into my waiting body.

“Oh, Dillon. I love you, Dillon. I….I…..Oh. Oh God. Oh, Baby! Dillon. DILLON!!! Otis swells within me and I feel his body pulsate. I feel each and every rope of his as it moves through his shaft like small tidal waves. They take their toll on his strength, and he collapses fully onto me. I hold him tight and revel in the feeling of having his sperm flood inside of me. As he lifts and moves to my side, my own semen cascades down to the sheets, having coursed through my body and exploded unnoticed, overshadowed by Otis’s own thrashing orgasm.

“Looks like we came together, huh.” We are facing each other. All smiles. We kiss. I rotate onto my side, and Otis spoons me and holds me close to him. I feel his warm breath at my neck; and some light and gentle kisses there, as well. Sleep overcomes us both; and my thoughts go to a possible future with Otis as I drift off. A final thought occurs to me. I really can’t do THIS alone anymore!