Lessons Learned in Forced Feminization, You Decide

Lessons Learned in Forced Feminization, You DecideSo did this title catch your attention. Will you read on?? Ok so I’m not going to tell you I was forced onto hormones, I didn’t get huge breast implants or permanent makeup tattooed on my face. I cannot go out in public and pass as a beautiful genetic female. But if you read on I will tell a true story of one of my early experiences with my wife after she caught me secretly crossdressing in her clothes, masturbating hard as a rock ready to cum. (that was my first of many to follow ruined cum). I promised her the world so to speak (my second mistake) not to divorce me as I expected she would if I was ever caught. But after understanding my need to dress , accepting I wasn’t “gay” and had never been with anyone but her she aggreed I could continue to dress. But only if I gave myself up to her control and did it her way which out of love for her and my feminine dressing I aggreed. She became my Mistress and our marriage/relationship changed. She began to discipline/teach/train me as her feminized domestic girl in her household using her Behavioral Psychology skills never to be a man again. She also controls my sex so that I am not allowed to masturbate, get hard or “dribble” as it is now called without her permission and usually in her presence in order for us to maintain our marriage.First off understand that she re-trained/conditioned me to no longer function as a man/male nor do my previous male parts function in that way now as a result. All my body parts were changed in name and function to a female role. I was taught and accepted the fact that a Girl like me will never have male sex, a male cock cum, or produce semen/sperm ever again. I have a “Pussy ass” or cunt, and a “Clitty thing” ( cock and balls new name). I also am regularly reminded and own up to the fact that I seriously upset my wife, changed our relationship and sexual life dressing up and playing with my little clitty when she caught me and that this behavior ( masturbation or erections) was an insult to her and would not be tolerated. I then promised to learn and accept as well that a girl like me should not ever have a hard clitty without her permission again to avoid this problem. This was the biggest insult, embarrassment, loss of her repect for me as a man, her husband and how she looks at me. As a result her behavioral psychology skills were used to train me so this no longer occurs for me even with my chastity cage off. I no longer get sexually excited without a good dose of pain happening at the same time. I regularly repeated after her and eventually was convinced and accepted that I am a sterile, impotent girl as a result of her treatments to make my clitty soft and feminine so it no longer has sex. I have even been to my doctor and tried all the pills, injections and natural stuff. He tells me an inflatable implant might return usable function but of course he doesn’t know why I have the condition I’m too embarrassed to tell him my story. Next I am allowed when earned and offered by Mistress to ask for ( more accurately beg) for an opportunity to attempt to “dribble” i.e. to leak my girl fluid or juice into my shot glass and drink it for my health and well being. I am only allowed to dribble in a process called “milking”. Much like my peeing I have no stream thanks to my 2 ; yes count them , two Prince Albert Piercings. I have to sit and wipe like a proper girl to pee. The setup for these milkings are not intended to be sexual and are much like an a****l being milked. Hooked up, locked in and it does or doesn’t happen within a given time frame otherwise move on. It is therefore mechanical in nature, put on display to see the spectacal for her and others to enjoy my humiliation, shame and embarrassment. The process is always associated , paired with pain , bahis şirketleri suffering and therefore more often unsuccessful for me. Further removing it from a sexual thing and more an a****listic , gut need and compulsion for me to degrade myself in front of people to such a lowly level to cum.The average person would not see this a sexual thing in any way and might even be offended and repulsed not able to watch. I am bound by ropes and/or chains to be immobilized as much as possible, blindfolded, and usually gaged to eliminate many of the senses. My Pussy Ass must be plugged with an appropriate item such as a big butt plug or preferably a “Girly Toy” such as a big dildo or strap on ( now days real cock) to hump. My clitty thing is tied/bound, stretched twisted in unimaginable unnatural ways to remain soft. I have 16 total piercings in my clitty , and leading between my legs to my pussy ass to attach to and assist in the mechanical process of the hard use , abuse and torture of my clitty. My mistress praises me saying it is reward it deserves this for being a good girl according to her. It is my foreplay leading to a cum I always hope and I am now addicted to it and mistress . Also I usually am not allowed to touch my clitty in any way at least at the final stage that could excite it or in a sexual way to assist with fluid release.So one day early in my feminization training I was ordered to my room for “timeout”. I was warned already this would happen for an incident earlier in the day when I insulted/upset “my wife” in her role and my daytime male role as husband/provider by unknowingly/unintentionally “talking down to her”. This makes her feel that I am treating her as less intelligent than she is. My room/timeout also means the wooden time out chair and I had better be dressed and sitting by the time she gets to the room. The chair has been out fitted with a big cock to fill my pussy ass to sit on and the chair legs, slats, rungs, bars or whatever you want to call them have added an assortment of hooks and eye bolts to bind me securely in many different ways. All of my training and discipline activities occur in my room and it is filled with all my female clothes, toys, equipment and furniture besides the chair such as the hitching post bolted to the floor that my clitty leash is often attached to for me to stand like a parked horse for long periods of time while many “clitty grooming, exercising, and treatment” things are done to it ( if you get my drift torture renamed from sexual terms like CBT & BDSM). Another day and story maybe?Mistress sleeps in her separate bedroom and I only share her bed when providing oral/lesbian type service to her. I do sleep on the floor at times in my nurses uniform if she demands that she feels like she is truely sick or needs some sort of care/treatment (again renamed) usually back rubs, foot rubs and not necessarily sexual for her. I also sleep on the floor in summer as her a****l pet companion because I can’t shave all my body hair. I have to maintain looking like a male at the beach/pool/cottage etc…(more future stories??)So where you ask is the EROTIC STORY in this ?? If you are still reading you decide like the title says. She ordered me to change into my red dress outfit. This includes my silicone breasts (44DD) matching bra, panties, slip, garter belt , stockings (full fashion/real deal of course) the cheap knitted stretch stuff is for daily casual wear work around the house etc… and finally my red strappy “fuck me heels” as my wife has named them. When she arrived to the room she added wrist / ankle cuffs , my collar with Missy Lynn” in jeweled letters, topped off by my pony tail hood for my long hair to stick out for further tying/control. Once I was bound sitting backwards on the chair she added a blindfold and ball gag bahis firmalar to eliminate further senses and take more control away from me.Now she said I was ready to begin my journey (unknown to me) to learn a new lesson. My red dress to me always indicates I’m going to be the slut/whore/prostitute and my pussy ass will get a workout inside and out long and hard being fucked and spanked. Sitting backwards in the chair on my toy cock my pussy ass cheeks were hung over the front edge of the chair seat just right for spanking with a paddle to began. Done merciless to redden the cheeks to proper level and then the bamboo cane to leave lash marks for me to see/feel for days after. Then heavy lead weights were added to the tip of my clitty Prince Albert piercings and wooden clothespins to the rest of my clitty. The weights hung over the back edge of the seat to swing in the air and she could pick up and drop, pull or kick the weights many times causing more pain. My hands were locked behind my back so sitting upright my clitty was effectively stretched over the hard surface of the seat so that she could use her “clitty whip” (horse riding crop) to warm up my clitty to the proper color as well. As she began this flogging I was made to understand and accept the fact that girls have to be “warmed up” by this foreplay (CBT use and abuse) and ready to effectively attempt to demonstrate that my clitty will stay soft while I dribble or service her and others.( Loose translation= this is the nearest thing to sex or a male cock cum I will ever be allowed to experience, and I better stay soft especially when providing services to others for their enjoyment ans sexual fulfillment).Her subjective decision on how long hard she applies foreplay and the color black/blue/red my skin becomes determines if and when I will be allowed to even try to release at her command. Now this evening I am rockin. rollin and deeply humping the toy cock to please her and to get me warmed up. It is all the same pain and pleasure to me only the role plays change from a school girl, maid, nurse, virgin good girl, princess goody two shoes or pet a****l. The pain/pleasure lines have been blurred long ago for me. The toy cock comes out of my pussy ass as I try standing slightly enough to get the cock almost all the way out of my pussy to the tip and then sit down on it deep to show her I am trying to please. But because it came out she starts over in her disappointment of my performance. She /we count swatts to 100 in fifty count segments to each sensitive body part and if I am lucky changing cheeks/body location every 50 lashes instead of all 100 in the same spot all at once. I am to the point of giving up , I start to question myself if I am going to be able to cum. She tells me it is my fault, she humiliates and describes my appearance, poor performance. The ball gag pops out as I try and repeat after her all she tells me to; “I want to be a good girl slave” , “I love what she is doing to me” , ” I want more of the same treatment ” etc.. I repeatedly ask,beg to keep trying to please her. Then it all stops there is silence and I begin to accept it is over and done thinking I have lost the game. I assume she is now excited and wet from her use and abuse of me and I will have to provide her with “hygiene clean up” ( again sex terms changed to non-sexual from her orgasms). She has to cum several times/days for me to earn another chance to dribble for her and her pleasure not mine.Am I doomed again to another failure? She pulls up a chair next to me and sits down. I am lost in darkness, my head is light, my mind spinning, I am shaking high on energy not released. She places a silk glove on her hand and begins touching and rubbing my girl clit and pussy ass asking if I’m going to get hard.( I say no and stay soft knowing kaçak bahis siteleri it is a test). Her voice changes as if she is feeling sorry for me, taking pity. As she runs her gloved hand and now her stocking covered leg over mine, squeezes my tits, puts her tits in my face to smother she asks if I would like to still try again and please her by fucking like a woman to cum. I say yes please may I hoping for a much needed cum now of course. She is now using her best sexy bedroom voice to say if I hump the sissy toy cock for her like a “real woman who is horny to cum” she just might let me “CUM TOO” like a woman if I ask, plead, beg, repeat after her and demonstrate I fuck like a woman. I promise her everything she says including giving her the world if I could right!! She then puts the ball gag back in my mouth. She whispers in my ear “Missy Lynn would you like me to use my glove to stroke your little clitty while you hump the cock and I will spank your pussy ass at the same time??” I will help you cum like a good girl”. Let me see you fuck like a woman and if your performance is convincing I will give you permission to cum. But remember only on my command after you ask to fill your shot glass first. Yes ,yes mistress I choke with the gag once again in my mouth. My mind is now swirling and like a race horse in the starting gate I’m getting ready for the charge to win this race to cum this time.She again whispers in my ear in that sexy voice “ARE YOU READY MY GOOD LITTLE GIRL” and of course I say yes. So as she says GO I bolt like lighting not just to hump that cock to try and cum but because the surprise pain was tremendous . Like a racing horse jockey to his spurs and riding crop she had her spiked leather glove on her other hand , home made by me with a golf glove and thumb tacks that she began stroking my clitty with as the paddle landed on my pussy cheeks. In what seemed like seconds out came my gag. I was mumbling, then screaming in a girly high pitched voice asking pleading to cum. Probably for this reason she said no I wasn’t ready yet and continued her torment. I was told I wasn’t fast enough , humping hard enough and until I was ready and under proper controll like a good girl , I would never be a woman. Out of control like this I would not be allowed to cum. So I composed myself and went faster , deeper and it seemed I was adjusting to the pain. I asked again to cum only to hear these words ” Do you like being a woman ?” and I said yes .She replied “go for it my little girl cum for your mistress” as the spiked glove once again clamped down hard causing pain ,and drawing scratch marks on my clitty stroking me. That night I was able to fill my shot glass for her and it was poured down my open mouth for me to drink for the very first time in my life eating cum. You decide was this my punishment or reward. I know I learned valuable lessens. Be careful what you ask for and remember the spiked glove. It became one of her favorite training tools. The Milkings are her game for me to lose when she wants and through the years she has come up with new ways to temp /train/tease and test me. That night was the last time I heard the offer to “cum” She laughed and riddiculed me she saying it was ” a dribble” and has such been called ever since then. I am still regarded as a good girl refraining from sex for her and others to humiliate ,use and abuse. Missy Lynn is now addicted to the pain and abuse to dribble when I can and thank Mistress for the chance win or loose. Regardless if I win or lose this game it excites her and the more and longer I endure her hard use and abuse of me the wetter and excited she becomes. Her new rule became 2 orgasms or more I give her to earn the chance for me one attempt to dribble not necessarily be successful. I have to aggree and accept her rules and this is fair according to her right?? Don’t get me wrong I would not change a thing in my feminine life. No regrets except maybe to wish I had been caught sooner so that we enjoyed this new relationship/ marriage longer and at a younger age.