Single Again

Several times a year I’m guaranteed to be single; Valentine’s Day, New Years, Christmas, my birthday and any other day or occasion that involves spending it with a lover. This Valentine’s Day, I thought I was going different, turns out I was wrong. I made reservations at one of the rich peoples restaurants, bought a new red dress and red lingerie for after dinner. Then I called to tell Alex when to pick me up and he announced, “I’m not going to be able to make it.”

“What does that mean?”

He told me he had to work late.

“On Valentine’s Day? Even on normal days you don’t work past four.”

Then more of the truth came out. He said he liked me but thought we would be better as friends. I disagreed with him and told him to never call me again. I hung up the phone and looked at my dress, it was still in the plastic hanging on my closet door. It was going back to the store tomorrow. However, the red lingerie, I was going to keep. I lifted the bra out of the shopping bag, I was going to go out anyways. But not to a restaurant, I knew two of my friends were going to be at the local bar tonight to celebrate their singleness.

***

Walking to the bar I saw too many happy couples, holding hands, walking side by side, I wanted to cry but Alex wasn’t worth it. We had been going out for only three months but the love word had started to pop up in my brain. At one point I even thought he was the one but tonight I was ready to find a someone new. Underneath my coat, I had worn a low cut black sweater, normally I wore a shirt underneath to hide my cleavage but tonight I wanted men to look. I wore my tight black skirt that actually made it look like I had a nice ass. I hadn’t done it on purpose but on the outside, I was wearing all black.

My friends were sitting at the bar and were surprised to see me. I couldn’t tell them I had been dumped on Valentine’s, it hurt to even think about it. I lied, told them Alex had to go out of town because his uncle was sick. It was the best lie I could come up with and I felt like I was lying to my teacher when I didn’t have my homework. But they bought, at least pretended to buy it and ordered the bartender to give me a drink.

The bar was still empty but it was early. The only other people were a group of boys sitting at a table behind me that seemed to notice every time I looked to check them out, a guy sitting by himself at the other end of the bar, the bartender and a couple. I had gone on dates to bars before but if I had a boyfriend that brought me there on Valentine’s, especially to this dive, he would no longer be my boyfriend. But they looked happy and I wanted to cry again, but I hid my emotions from my friends. I wasn’t ready to admit that I was single again.

None of the boys in the group at the ankara escort table seemed to be worthwhile, neither did the guy sitting by himself, by default the bartender became the most interesting male in the bar. But I already knew him too well. I saw him with too many bar sluts. I tried to tell myself I would have more fun if I didn’t spend the whole night hoping to meet someone. But I kept hoping someone would come through the door. When someone interesting finally did come through the door I didn’t even notice him. I was doing a shot with my friends. I had been there for over two hours and was feeling very nice. I didn’t notice Blake and his friend until they sat down next to me.

“Aren’t you supposed to be out on a hot date?” Blake asked.

“Something like that.” Then I remembered I was keeping it a secret. “He had to visit a an uncle in the hospital.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Blake used to live next door to me. I met him last summer when I was reading on my porch. I had seen him before in the lobby and elevator but we never spoke until that afternoon he came out to the neighboring porch and asked me what I was reading. We hit it off pretty quickly and started having semi regular conversations. He was a few years older, but I had a crush on him. The only problem was his girlfriend, and when they broke up he moved to a different building a few blocks away. I still saw him in the neighborhood time to time but it wasn’t the same.

“Don’t worry, I’m beginning to think it’s a good thing.”

“Maybe.”

“So where’s your hot date?”

“What hot date?”

“You’re too cute to be alone on Valentine’s Day.” I had never flirted with him before but than I had never been influenced by alcohol when he was around before.

I thought I had gone too far. He was silent until the bartender brought him his drink. Then he brought the topic back to our usual topics. I updated him on my life, my work, my reading until I couldn’t talk anymore. I felt like I was talking to my brother.

Blake bought my friends and I another round of shots. I was beginning to feel a little drunk, which had been one of my original intentions of coming to this dive bar but I didn’t have to be intoxicated to have fun with Blake and it was making me feel a little immature. He sipped on his Jack and Coke, I was downing Martinis and it didn’t help that I was horny almost beyond the point where I could control myself. The alcohol convinced me it was ok to put my hand on his leg. He didn’t seem to notice, he just kept on talking to his friend.

I had never seen him check me out, except the first time we talked. I was wearing a tank top and short shorts. I caught him looking but since then he had never showed interest in the physical me and he didn’t seem to be ankara escort bayan interested in me tonight. I took my hand off of him and went to the bathroom.

He was outside the bathroom when I came out. I went to kiss him, but he put two fingers to my lips. “You’re drunk, and I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of your friends, please don’t put your hand back on my leg.” Now I was ready to cry. It felt like no men in the world wanted me, but Blake put his arm around me and brought me close and held me. “Where is Alex really?”

“He dumped me today.”

“He’s asshole.”

“Maybe, but until today he made me happy.”

“I can’t believe he broke up with you today.”

“I know.” Tears started to fall. “We were supposed to go to dinner tonight, I bought a dress and everything but this afternoon I called him, he told me at first he couldn’t make it then when I interrogated him further, he dumped me.” I felt better just telling someone. “I didn’t mean to make you mad, I just wanted someone to be with tonight.”

“I’m not mad. I just think you’re a little too drunk and I don’t think you would put your hand on my leg if you weren’t drunk and hadn’t been dumped today.”

“I probably wouldn’t be here either, but I like you, I liked you even when you were going out with Sara. Can you just take me home? We don’t have to do anything. I just want to sleep with someone holding me tonight.”

He didn’t say anything. I could smell his cologne now and I didn’t want him to ever let go of me. But he did when another girl needed to get by to get into the bathroom.

“I like you too, but not in that way.” I had been rejected before, even with the exact same words, it was so cliché but this time it really hurt.

He walked me back to the bar where my friends were now talking to some guy that had stolen my stool. I took my coat and told my friends Alex had called and I was going home. I didn’t want to be in public anymore. It was going to be a lot cheaper to get drunk at home. But before I got two feet out the door Blake was grabbed my arm.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to leave.”

“I can’t stay.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve had too much rejection today.”

“I’m sorry, you’re a great girl, but I’m not ready for a relationship again.”

“You broke up with Sara two months ago. And I didn’t say anything about a relationship. I just want to fuck you tonight.” A couple walking by on the street stared at me. I gave them the finger.

“Calm down.” Blake wrapped his body around me again, pushed me off the sidewalk into an alleyway. He pinned me with my arms above my head against the brick wall. “You’re too special for just fucking.”

This time I was speechless. He let go of me but I didn’t escape. “You’re too sensitive escort ankara to be real.”

“I am not.”

“Then, just sleep with me tonight. No one will have to know.”

“I’m not ready.”

“Please.”

“I want you so bad, but…”

“Then, take me right here, right now.” It was cold but he made me warm. He kissed me. I knew I had won. He pressed up against me. I felt him grow hard against me, even through our layers of clothes. “I can’t wait any longer.”

I started to unbuckle his belt. “Not here, we’re five feet away from anyone seeing us.”

“I don’t care. I need you now.”

“I do.” He pulled me further into the alley and behind the building.

I finished opening his pants and felt his cock.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes.” I took off my red panties and put them in my coat pocket. He pushed me against the wall. He pulled out his cock. He pushed his warm body against me. I felt his cock against me, then I felt him enter me. He started to fuck me but the position was awkward, it was hard for him to fuck me the way I needed. “Turn around.” He positioned me like a cop about to search a suspect, hands against the wall, legs spread apart.

“Have you done this before?” I laughed. I smiled as he pushed himself back inside of me. “No. You?”

“First time.”

“His hands explored my body. It didn’t take long to find their way up my sweater to caress my breasts. His hands were cold but they still felt amazing as he touched my erect nipples.

I started to worry that someone would find us. I half expected to get caught but I didn’t care. It was the first time I had fucked outside of a bedroom or a car. I think the cold air made it ten times better and the fear of getting caught was an added bonus.

Blake fucked me for what seemed an hour. It was probably only ten minutes, but it was long enough to know he was a better lover then Alex.

He grabbed on to me as he started to come close. He held me tightly as he came hard. I looked back at him. He was smiling. “That was amazing.” He said, while trying to catch his breath. It was the standard after sex cliché but this time and from him it seemed to mean something real.

“So what do we do now?”

“We could go back into the bar and pretend nothing happened or we could go back to your place?”

We went back to my apartment. I lit the candles around my bed, then he proceeded to make love to me. It was just like I had planned the night to end, just with a different lover.

The next morning when the alarm went off, I didn’t want to go to work but I had to. Blake slept through the alarm but he was long gone by the time I returned home from work.

It was a one-night-only thing but that was okay. It was what I needed. It ruined our friendship, now when he sees me says “hi,” but that’s it. Sex always ruins friendships. But that’s okay too.

As far as Alex, he called me a few days later, I told him it was too late to apologize. I decided I didn’t need a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.